Acrophobia and Tonsurephobia

20 04 2014

IMG_20140419_211639749There was an unintentional week-long break from the blog. Sorry¬†about that. Mostly, nothing was worth reporting. I’ve been busy enough not to have time to craft, knit, or embroider. But!IMG_20140419_131446328

Today there were events. Went rock climbing with a friend and clipped the dog.

And hey, maybe I’ll get around to something crafty soon. After all, I have one more day left before the end of my (only-one-actual-day-off-work-long) spring break.

Might I mention how terrified of heights I still am, after years of bouldering? Still, my friend managed to talk me up the 40 foot wall. And man, am I ever out of shape…Gotta go back and fix that.

Diabetic-Friendly Shortbread

9 04 2014

Mm, so here’s a, easy recipe for the shortbread I altered from a less impressive bookbound recipe this past weekend…

DIABETIC SHORTBREAD: IMG_20140405_144515811

If you happen to have a really pretty specifically-for-shortbread baking pan or the patience to cut and shape individual cookies, go right ahead. If you’re lazy like me, screw it. A greased cake pan works fine.

You’ll also need a Cuisinart, or a whole hell of a lot of willpower.

Preheat the oven to 325.

20 tablespoons of unsalted butter, softened (2 1/2 sticks)
2/3 cups of sugar and sugar substitute (I prefer stevia’s baking mix, since it doesn’t have those pesky allergy-deaths-inducing aspartame bits) at a ratio of your preference
3 1/4 cups of all purpose flour

Dump it all in the Cuisinart, hit on. You’ll have to knock the dough off the sides a few times before it’s done. Deal. The consistency you’re going for is wet playdough. If you care to, this would also be the time to add food coloring, nuts, chocolate or other exiting additions. I’d recommend pecans.

When the dough’s done, transfer to the greased cooking pan and spread it evenly. (Or cut out shapes and place about an inch apart on the pan if that’s your agenda. Whatever.)

The recipe I originally tried called for just 15-20 minutes in the oven. Since the cookie wasn’t the ‘light brown’ the recipe called for, it’s been in there closer to 30 minutes. It’s still a bit on the softer side. Decided that time’s relative. Use your eyeballs for this one. Remember that there’s nothing in this that could technically kill you from salmonella, so you could probably eat it raw if you wanted…

Cool before eating. Because oven-hot sugar bread will make sure you never taste anything ever again.

And here’s your baking playlist: Queen’s News of the World.

Enjoy your heart attack.

Weekending Mistakes

5 04 2014

I’m not sure I know how to properly relax when I have free reign of the house. The housemates have flown the coop for the day and left me by my lonesome for the first time in months. Which is pretty neat. I could do things like…laze around in my undies or throw a party or something equally awesome.


Yes, it’s labeled ‘Pie’

Of course I’m bad at this ‘relaxing’ thing. I ended up making chicken pot pie and diabetic-friendly shortbread. And mixtapes for dance class at work. There is something terribly wrong with the idea that I’m satisfied with standing up for three hours winging cooking directions like I know what I’m doing.

There has been a mini dance party, though. Queen. Lots of Queen.

The Avocado Lives

2 04 2014


It’s Wednesday, but I haven’t much to really write, so here’s my backup post:

I was aware you could grow your own avocado tree from the pit of said delicious fruit, but the last time I tried to grow anything from what I might otherwise have eaten was back in kindergarten, so I didn’t hold out much hope for this. Avocados grow slowly, at least from the pit, so it’s taken about three weeks for me to realize that not only had I not killed it, but that it was flourishing under my indirect care.


So, since it’s determined to survive, I’ll set aside a pot for it. Maybe it’ll be ready come July.

(Fun fact, the avacado fruit that we eat is considered to be a seriously ugly berry.

Fun sidenote: The tutus were very popular, so when I get the chance, I’ll be making more for the bigger preschoolers.

Tutus for My Two Twos

29 03 2014

My preschool class has (on average) six students, and all of them love dress up. The princess dresses have been exceptionally popular of late, but as we only have two, not everyone can have one when he or she wants it. If anyone’s familiar with how well a two-year-old takes the idea of taking turns, my concern for the dresses and my sanity is understandable.

So I made some alternatives to the princess dresses that were easy and would please everyone! The No-Sew Tutu project is extremely popular on sites like Pinterest, and it only took a couple hours to whip up four in pretty springlike colors. I wanted more or less gender-neutral tones, since my boys and girls equally love to play.

If only the fabric store had been more convenient and helpful about taking the school’s tax-exempt card…


We’ll see how these tutus fly in class on Monday and if it works out, I’ll use what’s left to make a couple more for the older preschoolers. As for the rest of the weekend? Rain and naps, and maybe a belated birthday outing to the Cheesecake Factory.

I turned 26 last Tuesday…I deserve fancy cheesecake and tasty martinis.

Ridiculous Things I Have Recently Said

26 03 2014

(It’s technically still Wednesday, so here’s the post!)

Me: Look at that cloud. It’s so puffy!
Me: It looks kind of like a heart.
Me: Laid down on a table.
Me: After a vivisection.

Me: *to one of my students* If you eat your carrots, they’ll help you glow in the dark.
A coworker: You mean help them see in the dark?
Me: What kind of lame carrots are you eating?

Me: Which way does the sun revolve around the Earth? Clockwise or counterclockwise?

Me, to a student: What do you think I do after all you kids go home? The teachers don’t live at school, you know.
My student: Of course you do!

Me, to a coworker: I found myself humming Rob Zombie this morning and thought to myself that without the words, ‘Scum of the Earth’ is actually a pretty cheery song.

An Intellectual New Project

22 03 2014

I began this not long after the Dr Who Sampler had been neatened and stored (say, about an hour), and then got caught up in the frenzy that is work and working out. After a month at the center, the Littles are finally sure about the limits to which they can push their substitute teacher (me), and after a month of working out, I’ve managed a 10k run at a reasonable jog. I’m slow, but I’m going, and that’s a bunch.

Plans for the weekend include adulting things, like taxes and two weeks worth of laundry. But there is also the new Hunger Games movie in from Netflix and perhaps some more work on this between-major-hair-pulling-crazy-projects project. IMG_20140321_223107792And maybe a birthday lunch or dinner someplace excellent and fattening. The big 26 is coming up Tuesday…

To be said on the cross stitch is, ‘Intellectually Gifted, Morally Bankrupt’ with a sort of iris classic English-style blackwork-type strip. More on that when I get there.

In the mean time, I’m also developing plans to make a quickie cross stitch for the Welcome to Night Vale fandom. Having a really hard time picking out a text I’d like to use…something simple yet solid. Something that suggests Cecil’s self-described ‘sonorous’ voice through the text itself, lovely and yet off-putting.

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