Fiddle I Fee

23 04 2014

I have this horrible song stuck in my head. The lead teacher at work keeps singing it to the kids, who will invariably pick up on it and repeat it constantly and off-key. Provided they can remember the words…what they substitute instead can be pretty darn funny.

IMG_20140422_213622473_HDROn another note, embroidery! Yay! Netflix posted all of House on its streaming, and so I’m slowly working my way through the iris patch on this haphazard design (I really need to start actually penning these things down, because in my heart I know something will always come out crooked). Yes, the thread is purple. Soon as I have the daylight to manage a good picture, it’ll be back to the porch with the bees.

Went to the actual first yoga class in a very long time last night…That was interesting. Neck stiffened up earlier that day in class and the yoga teacher was kind enough to work on that a little. It didn’t do much, but it was nice to know that while I may be phenomenally out of shape, I can still manage an hour-long class. Running shoes should be coming in soon, so I’m hoping by then my calves will be in better shape to get back into the game.

Did I mention that there’s a chicken pox outbreak at school? Oh yes, half my class either has it or is showing signs and the other half is really just biding its time to start in on the fun. Yes, every one of those children have been vaccinated and several got a secondary booster shot. Obviously it isn’t a cureall. I’d say it’s a shame, but my troublemakers are out, and it makes the class go a lot smoother. And since we’re transitioning the return of a long-lost teacher for whom I was substituting, we need all the calm we can get!

Acrophobia and Tonsurephobia

20 04 2014

IMG_20140419_211639749There was an unintentional week-long break from the blog. Sorry¬†about that. Mostly, nothing was worth reporting. I’ve been busy enough not to have time to craft, knit, or embroider. But!IMG_20140419_131446328

Today there were events. Went rock climbing with a friend and clipped the dog.

And hey, maybe I’ll get around to something crafty soon. After all, I have one more day left before the end of my (only-one-actual-day-off-work-long) spring break.

Might I mention how terrified of heights I still am, after years of bouldering? Still, my friend managed to talk me up the 40 foot wall. And man, am I ever out of shape…Gotta go back and fix that.

Diabetic-Friendly Shortbread

9 04 2014

Mm, so here’s a, easy recipe for the shortbread I altered from a less impressive bookbound recipe this past weekend…

DIABETIC SHORTBREAD: IMG_20140405_144515811

If you happen to have a really pretty specifically-for-shortbread baking pan or the patience to cut and shape individual cookies, go right ahead. If you’re lazy like me, screw it. A greased cake pan works fine.

You’ll also need a Cuisinart, or a whole hell of a lot of willpower.

Preheat the oven to 325.

20 tablespoons of unsalted butter, softened (2 1/2 sticks)
2/3 cups of sugar and sugar substitute (I prefer stevia’s baking mix, since it doesn’t have those pesky allergy-deaths-inducing aspartame bits) at a ratio of your preference
3 1/4 cups of all purpose flour

Dump it all in the Cuisinart, hit on. You’ll have to knock the dough off the sides a few times before it’s done. Deal. The consistency you’re going for is wet playdough. If you care to, this would also be the time to add food coloring, nuts, chocolate or other exiting additions. I’d recommend pecans.

When the dough’s done, transfer to the greased cooking pan and spread it evenly. (Or cut out shapes and place about an inch apart on the pan if that’s your agenda. Whatever.)

The recipe I originally tried called for just 15-20 minutes in the oven. Since the cookie wasn’t the ‘light brown’ the recipe called for, it’s been in there closer to 30 minutes. It’s still a bit on the softer side. Decided that time’s relative. Use your eyeballs for this one. Remember that there’s nothing in this that could technically kill you from salmonella, so you could probably eat it raw if you wanted…

Cool before eating. Because oven-hot sugar bread will make sure you never taste anything ever again.

And here’s your baking playlist: Queen’s News of the World.

Enjoy your heart attack.

Weekending Mistakes

5 04 2014

I’m not sure I know how to properly relax when I have free reign of the house. The housemates have flown the coop for the day and left me by my lonesome for the first time in months. Which is pretty neat. I could do things like…laze around in my undies or throw a party or something equally awesome.


Yes, it’s labeled ‘Pie’

Of course I’m bad at this ‘relaxing’ thing. I ended up making chicken pot pie and diabetic-friendly shortbread. And mixtapes for dance class at work. There is something terribly wrong with the idea that I’m satisfied with standing up for three hours winging cooking directions like I know what I’m doing.

There has been a mini dance party, though. Queen. Lots of Queen.

The Avocado Lives

2 04 2014


It’s Wednesday, but I haven’t much to really write, so here’s my backup post:

I was aware you could grow your own avocado tree from the pit of said delicious fruit, but the last time I tried to grow anything from what I might otherwise have eaten was back in kindergarten, so I didn’t hold out much hope for this. Avocados grow slowly, at least from the pit, so it’s taken about three weeks for me to realize that not only had I not killed it, but that it was flourishing under my indirect care.


So, since it’s determined to survive, I’ll set aside a pot for it. Maybe it’ll be ready come July.

(Fun fact, the avacado fruit that we eat is considered to be a seriously ugly berry.

Fun sidenote: The tutus were very popular, so when I get the chance, I’ll be making more for the bigger preschoolers.

Tutus for My Two Twos

29 03 2014

My preschool class has (on average) six students, and all of them love dress up. The princess dresses have been exceptionally popular of late, but as we only have two, not everyone can have one when he or she wants it. If anyone’s familiar with how well a two-year-old takes the idea of taking turns, my concern for the dresses and my sanity is understandable.

So I made some alternatives to the princess dresses that were easy and would please everyone! The No-Sew Tutu project is extremely popular on sites like Pinterest, and it only took a couple hours to whip up four in pretty springlike colors. I wanted more or less gender-neutral tones, since my boys and girls equally love to play.

If only the fabric store had been more convenient and helpful about taking the school’s tax-exempt card…


We’ll see how these tutus fly in class on Monday and if it works out, I’ll use what’s left to make a couple more for the older preschoolers. As for the rest of the weekend? Rain and naps, and maybe a belated birthday outing to the Cheesecake Factory.

I turned 26 last Tuesday…I deserve fancy cheesecake and tasty martinis.

Ridiculous Things I Have Recently Said

26 03 2014

(It’s technically still Wednesday, so here’s the post!)

Me: Look at that cloud. It’s so puffy!
Me: It looks kind of like a heart.
Me: Laid down on a table.
Me: After a vivisection.

Me: *to one of my students* If you eat your carrots, they’ll help you glow in the dark.
A coworker: You mean help them see in the dark?
Me: What kind of lame carrots are you eating?

Me: Which way does the sun revolve around the Earth? Clockwise or counterclockwise?

Me, to a student: What do you think I do after all you kids go home? The teachers don’t live at school, you know.
My student: Of course you do!

Me, to a coworker: I found myself humming Rob Zombie this morning and thought to myself that without the words, ‘Scum of the Earth’ is actually a pretty cheery song.

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Beth Morris

A second year student studying Fine Art at Cardiff Met

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